when out on the lawn there arose such a clatter....

no this time it was not santa claus. it was me with a pressure washer....trying-somewhat to no avail-to get tons of mud off the bottom of daniel's truck. we are trying to fix his brakes, which have not worked too well since we went mudding. cannot seem to find the problem however, so i send out this request to the mechanically inclined (although i have a 133 mechanical...same scoring method as an iq test). here is the situation...the pedal has no pressure, even when pushed all the way to the floor...the brake fluid resevoir keeps loosing fluid...no visible leaks can be seen...when the truck is moving, the brakes will bring the vehicle to a stop, but over a great distance....and after spending the better part of 3 hours working on the problem, i have no other ideas. please help.

Terror, panic, and mania...

I realize as the time draws nearer that i am absolutely terrified to get out of the army. For the better part of the last ten years i have been wearing a uniform, and, as i near the end of this era in my life, i have begun to accept the fact that i do not know anything about being a civilian...i am scared. i know a hell of a lot about the army. regulations, standards, and all the tinsle and glare...civilians don't do this. Chris and Tom always make fun of me at home when i start telling stories. " this one time in the army..." its all i know. My confidence comes from being the one who knows everything. i like to be the go to guy. i like knowing and being able to do.
my back has been hurting a lot lately. it always seems that when one thing gets better something else gets worse. i am finally on a medication that helps with anxiety and depression. i feel great mentally. now my body is falling apart again. i hurts to sit, it hurts to stand, and it hurts to move in between. I need to go back to the doctor, but it almost doesnt make sense to do that...anyone who thinks socialized medicine would be good for america should have to be treated by military doctors. Tricare is as close to "good" socialized medicine as we will ever get. and it sucks. doctors just stamp the paper. i got my teeth cleaned the other day. 25 mins from start to finish, and that is not a credit to the superior performance of the dentist. it took longer to clean my teeth when they were my baby teeth. these are the only teeth i have for the rest of my life and the dentist ran over them like there was no point to making sure they were actually clean. socialized medicine is crap. thats why my back is screwed up, my brain is messed up, and i am finished with the army.
i put it to my soldiers like my drill sergeant put it to me, "You are not special. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are nothing but a cookie from a cookie cutter. Fort Jackson pumps out 40,000 pukes just like you every year. You are nothing but a number, and you are easy to replace." FTA
I'm done...
sick of this s....
83 days.

The light at the end of the tunnel...

I got my Orders today. There is officially an end to my term in service, and it is officially in sight. with my orders i can now begin to transition out of the military. I will be scheduling transportation of my household goods, and starting my VA medical claim. its kind of cool, i never realized what it would be like to get orders for ETS. my mood completely changed. i am ready to get out of the army. more ready than i have ever been.

For the love of money...

it really amazes me what motivates americans. the things that we will do for the love of money...we marry, we slave away at dead end jobs, we sacrifice our health and well-being, there is almost no limit. black friday is perhaps one of the most gross representations of the sickness of money. a temporary worker at a wal-mart was killed because americans were greedy enough to trample someone to spend money...we have too much. 1000 dollars will allow me to live, eat, work, travel, and donate money to a non-profit organization in a third world country for 6 weeks. it costs me nearly twice that much to live here in the US for 2 weeks. amazing. the things we "need" as americans is gross. kind of makes me feel dirty. i think i need a break from being an american.