Saturday, June 30, 2007

the love of first world ammenities...

I got up really early this morning. some friends stopped by and woke me up for breakfast. its been a long time since i was up this early. and it has been a long time since i was away from work to eat breakfast.
i am really tired, but thought that since i was up, i would put down a post. things here are as crazy as ever. the showers are back on, but who knows how long that will last...we take pleasure in the simple things in life out here, like running water.
thats all for now...ill put some more up later...

Thursday, June 28, 2007

the pain of technology gaps

i just want everyone to know that i have tried to log on to post several times in the past week, and this is the first time that i have logged in successfully. I am trying to post more often, but keep in mind that i live in a third world country and we are in the 120 degree range right now. I have been cutting out a lot of sleep lately to avoid moving around outside of my CHU during anytime that the sun is up. unfortunately i work during the day so that is putting a cramp in my style. the "state of the art" body armor is once again a large george foreman grill and i find that spending more than five minutes in indirect sunlight is getting unbearable. we still arent to the hottest days of the summer. water conservation has reached a peak, and the showers have been shut off for 3 days now. let me tell you about that. first of all, i work around people that smell like they havent showered since bible times, but, then, to have myself and co-workers join in on the whole chirade, its almost more than my worn phyche can handle.
i am wholly exhausted. this is my least favorite time of the deployment. it never changes, and never fails. i am so tired that it hurts. sometimes i try to sleep, but no matter how long i sleep i still wake up tired. i wonder to myself what we are doing here, sometimes its clear, other times it is shrouded in the haze that blankets this country. indisciminate options rise from the desert floor and then shimmer and fade like the heat baking this war to an unfavorable end. I wish that i could look into the future and see if the work we are putting in here will eventually pay off, or if it is just futile investment in an unstable and shaky future.
i love you all and hope that somehow i find the motivation to keep going in this heat. Dad, i still have a bunch of otter-pops, and those really help give me a momentary burst of motivation...make me feel like a kid again.


Wednesday, June 06, 2007

the harsh reality of war...

I thought that going to funerals was the hard part of war, but i had an experience this week that made me question this war. I was at a formation on the airfield to load caskets on a plane, and when the flag drapped caskets passed, i found myself wondering what we were doing here. it is always hard when it hits home. I was really depressed about the whole ordeal, but my friend lewis put it into perspective for me.
she told me about the first time that she had to load bodies for the trip home. she knew the soldiers who died, and was standing in the formation. she saw the bodies pass her and began to question the war. but then she looked left, and right. she saw strangers all around her. strangers that had become her family. people that live and die for each other. not politcians, preachers, or family. but for one another. Two heros started their trip home. I found a family in the process.